Sunday, August 24, 2014

Carrot Catastrophe

A little over a week ago I came home to a Carrot Catastrophe!

Earlier in the year I deviously tucked a small patch of carrots into one of the herb beds on the side of the house. I planted two rows of carrots between the marigolds and the onions. They would be protected by the stink of marigold, oregano, thyme and rosemary, or so I thought.

For most of the summer my strategy had worked. I thought I had outsmarted all the varmints. The pervert groundhog ate clover at dusk every evening and the rabbits frequented the space between the wall and the shed most nights. The deer decimated the sacrificial Hostas I planted near the wood-line, leaving only yellow and green striped nubs, but otherwise minded their business.  The wildlife and I had been on good terms. 

Good terms, that is, until I came home from work the other night. I walked down the driveway, lost in other thoughts, and suddenly stopped short. The garden didn't look right. It took me a moment before I realized that the bushy green tops had been shorn from the carrots. A few small lacy leaves poked up through a forest of chartreuse stems. Which varmint had perpetrated this heinous crime!? The cropping was high, rough and uneven and my suspicions pointed toward the deer. A moment later these suspicions were confirmed. The baby lettuce sprouting in long, low pots on the stairs to the kitchen had disappeared too. Those hoofed rats had eaten my carrots and then climbed the stairs to take my lettuce too!

I went into the kitchen and plopped my bag on the table. I had to see if anything could be salvaged. After digging my fingers into the sandy soil around the base of a few of the victims, I found a number of decently sized carrots.  I manically pulled up anything large enough for supper and tried to save anything else. There were still a few small rooted stragglers hanging on dearly to their leaves, so I gave them a long drink of water and left them to recover.

I tromped back up the steps with my hands full of a dozen and a half sundry carrots. The Danvers half-longs were bright orange and comically chubby. The Purple Rain variety had a smooth skin that was nearly black. The Mokums were pale orange and small, but still sweet and crispy. A pair of big, creamy White Satins rounded out my motley assortment. Now how to prepare them?


I peered into the fridge, contemplating my next move. I spotted an open bottle of white wine and decided on simple glazed carrots. I grabbed the bottle and the butter and set to work.

I scrubbed dirt from the carrot crannies and trimmed away the tops and tails. Any root hairs were roughly scraped away. I halved the fat half-longs, as well as the larger whites and purples, but the remainder would go into the pot whole.

I decided that these carrots would play well with garlic and rosemary, so I rooted in the pantry for the garlic and then headed back to the garden. My little rosemary plant lives next to the back door and has become happily bushy recently. I trimmed a sprig and inhaled deeply, letting the sharp, piney aroma waft through my head. Yes, this rosemary would get along with my carrots quite well.

I grabbed one of my favorite pots, its silver sides shining as its heavy bottom clanked on the burner. Click. Click. Poof. The flame burst up brightly and then dimmed to yellow-kissed blue as I turned the gas down. The butter bubbled over medium heat while I peeled the thick skin away from two plump garlic cloves and roughly chopped them. I let them sizzle in the buttery foam for a few minutes then tossed in the rosemary and wine. A fragrant cloud of steam arose. Now it was time for the carrots. I placed them in the pot, reduced the flame to almost nothing and set a lid on top. See you in an hour, carrots.

While the carrots slowly simmered, I prepared the rest of the dinner: snapper with herb butter, roasted potatoes and kale. After whirling around the kitchen for awhile, dinner was ready. The fish was firm and meaty, the potatoes crispy and the greens sweet and spicy. But how were the carrots? The sweet, tender roots swam in an aromatic syrup tinged with purple. They were delightful and made the whole meal. My efforts - the planting of seeds, the watering, the thinning, the chopping and the cooking - had not been in vain. The deer had decimated the plants, but they did it at just the right time.

That is how my Carrot Catastrophe became my Carrot CaTASTEtrophe.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Greens Twofer

I've had a few requests for greens recipes recently, so here are my top two:

UnClassic Collard Greens and Breakfast Greens

I recently tried a few different recipes for collards, but I just ended up coming back to my original. This recipe is a bit sacrilegious. It contains no ham hock and could be turned into a vegan recipe by subbing peanut oil for the animal fat. I know, right!?

In my trials I found that the quantity of collards used in decent traditional ham hock recipes (5-6 bunches) was impractical for my needs. I also found that the collards tended to get overwhelmingly porky. I like the way the greens themselves taste, so in my recipe I try to keep it as simple as possible. The secret ingredient is whole allspice, which enhances the nuttiness of the greens.

UnCLASSIC COLLARDS

1 large or 2 small bunches collards
1 1/2 Tbsp. lard, bacon grease or butter
1 small onion - diced
3-4 whole allspice
1 c. chicken stock (optional)
3 c. water
2 Tbsp. white vinegar
1 tsp. brown sugar (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

Remove the stems from the leafy part of the greens. Chop the stems into pieces the same size the diced onions and set aside. Next chop the leaves into roughly 1 inch squares. My trick for chopping lots of leaves is to place them into a few manageable piles, roll them up and chop into roughly 1 inch strips. Then turn your board 90 degrees and chop 1 inch apart again. Set aside in a large bowl.

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Fry the onions for a few minutes in the oil. Add the collard stems and fry for a few minutes more, until the onions are translucent and fragrant.

Add the allspice and a handful of greens. Allow them to cook in the oil for a minute, then add the rest of the greens, the chicken stock and enough water to just cover the greens. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low. Cover partially with a lid and simmer for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally. Finish with vinegar, sugar (if you like a little extra sweetness), salt and pepper. Use more salt than you think you need - probably about 1 Tbsp.

Use a slotted spoon to serve. The leftover liquid makes a nice soup base.


BREAKFAST GREENS

Breakfast Greens have become a staple for us. They are a nice, quick side anytime, but I particularly like them for breakfast with eggs and grits. I typically use kale for this recipe, but it could be made chard or any other leafy green. The combination of Sriracha and honey take the bitter edge off the greens, which can be a bit overwhelming otherwise. This recipe is just a rough outline and proportions should be changed to taste. It can also be easily scaled down to just a single serving when cooking for one.

1 bunch kale - stemmed and roughly chopped
1 Tbsp. butter
1 Tbsp. honey
1 tsp. Sriracha hot sauce (most other hot sauces are too thin and vinegary for this recipe)
salt and pepper to taste

Heat the butter in a large pan over medium heat until it becomes frothy. Add the greens. Let them cook for 30 seconds, then toss the greens in the pan using tongs. Cook that way for another 2-3 minutes, until the greens are just beginning to wilt. The time may vary depending on the type of greens you use. Remove from the pan immediately. Mix in the salt and pepper and then drizzle honey and Sriracha over the top. It is important that you do NOT stir the honey and hot sauce. The flavors get lost behind the greens that way. Serve at once.